Generational Trauma & Breaking Cycles

Dealing with trauma can last a lifetime.

Trauma doesn’t necessarily mean you’ve experienced one life-threatening event.

It can result from many negative life experiences that impact your well-being. For example, a highly critical parent can affect your decisions in your adult life.

When trauma is left unresolved, one remains in a never-ending cycle of stress. It can feel like too much and start affecting other areas of your life, such as work, family, friends, how you raise your kids, and more.

You might notice that you no longer want to socialize, work always feels overwhelming, and what you used to enjoy doing doesn’t seem as joyful anymore. All these things feel like such a chore.

Generational differences can create trauma.

I always joke with my clients that Asian parents have a sixth love language – criticism. I love my parents, and I know they love me; however, I sometimes would struggle with the comments they make.

I share this story a lot with my clients. One year, I was hiking in Hawaii when my mom called. She asked what I was doing, to which I responded, ‘I’m hiking Lanikai Pillbox in Hawaii!” I was shocked to hear her tell me she was happy I was hiking so my body would be smaller.

I was SO offended and let this ruin my mood. It wasn’t until later that I learned the tools necessary to reframe my thoughts. With lots of practice and patience, I understood my mother better, was able to set healthy boundaries, and didn’t let her words affect me long-term.

We often carry the weight of words from others (especially our parents) and let it heavily influence us. I know so many of us hear our parents’ voices and tones in our heads, and it can sometimes feel defeating.

You can learn to overcome generational trauma.

Yes, words from parents, family, and friends can impact our well-being negatively. However, it doesn’t have to keep being this way.

You’ve tried to resolve these issues independently, and it isn’t working. Therefore, you need professional help to break these cyclical patterns of misunderstanding and criticism. No one is at fault for their traumas. Taking on the role of a cycle breaker is challenging. These damaging patterns can stop with you, so your children or future children don’t have to experience them.

As a therapist, I can work with you to identify the cyclical patterns of criticism and poor communication. We will work together to help you learn how to set boundaries and reprocess cyclical misunderstandings that have a traumatic impact.

The work is hard, but a willingness to face these challenges is worth the effort. Trust me; I know how you feel and can help. Please get in touch with me today, and let’s talk about your traumatic experiences.